About My Brother - Spoken at his funeral

I am Alex Renaud. I am Brian’s younger brother. I saw him everyday. Almost every time I saw him he would be sleeping in his room. He would sleep all day until dinnertime. Then, right after he ate, he would go right back to sleep after a little bit of studying. Right now he is sleeping but I hope he doesn’t wake up for dinner. I hope the first thing that emerges from his weary eyelids isn’t me in the doorway waking him up for supper. I hope he doesn’t wake up in the lifeless hospital room he slept in for a week. I hope he doesn’t have to see himself in the condition he was in. He won’t need to eat anymore food through a tube, or breathe through a machine anymore. I hope the next time he opens his eyes, he is met with his creator in what we call heaven. I hope the next thing his ears hear isn’t Brent Fayiaz’s voice singing his favourite RnB song. It isn’t Blonde by Frank Ocean, or Any Drake song. I hope his favourite jazz albums aren’t playing anytime soon. He doesn’t hear Summer Walker or SZA’s vocals. I hope he hears the angelic voices calling his name from above. Heavenly tones only you and I can dream of. I keep telling myself “he’s in a better place now” to take my mind off of what was truly lost that day. A human being, a well intentioned soul with a warm heart. My brother. Well, he’s not lost yet. His monotone voice, and his questionable way of dancing may be gone. His slick back hair, and his rich fashion sense will never be seen again. His ability to play sports the best he can will never be replicated. He may not be with us physically but someone doesn’t truly pass away until they are forgotten. I will miss his voice telling me to close his door everytime I leave. I will miss hearing his music through his headphones in the car, when he had them at max volume. I will miss seeing him bring his own water bottle to the kitchen table because he stopped drinking anything else. Or when he took forever in the washroom taking his morning shower, when I had to get ready for school. I think it’s time to accept it. All of the things that I just mentioned are gone forever. But, he will always be with us in our hearts. Literally. He will actually be in another person's body. His liver, lungs, both kidneys, and pancreas, are going to people in need. No one else in the room could say they saved four people. Four people are living because of Brian. With that said, we should all look up to Brian. He was a classmate, a friend, a teammate, a cousin, a nephew, a son, and a brother. We should all share his story like how he shared his organs. Spread awareness like the peanut butter he was allergic to. Unlike his door I always forgot to close, we will never forget Brian Renaud’s life. Short but touched many.